


BitterSweet

by JJKim



Category: VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:11:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJKim/pseuds/JJKim
Summary: Is this love? Sometimes Jin knew and other times he wasn't too sure. He never knew what real love could be until now.





	BitterSweet

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my s/o and I decided to write this story together. This is a story i have been working on for a while now and thanks to them i have the inspiration to finish it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it! :)

“How do you know you’re in love?”  
“You know it when you feel it. You just know it in your heart.”  
Jin never knew what that meant. For twenty years he never knew what love meant. “You know it when you feel it?” What was that supposed to mean, really? Jin never felt “love.” He never felt the butterflies that people felt when the person they cared about looked at them, the sweating people would feel when the person they cared as more than a friend would come close. He has never held hands, kissed, or come close to have any physical contact with the person that is supposedly his soul mate. No, he never felt different towards any human being that he didn’t consider as more than a friend.  
They say love changes people.  
But nobody ever changed Jin. He was the same person that he was when he was born-awkward, nerdy, and when he did speak people usually didn't like his dark sense of humor or his sharp tongue.  
They say love is the sweetest thing that a person could ever experience. The happiness you feel when you go somewhere as a pair instead of one, the giddiness you get from a single text, or the deep, intimate moments that you share together. Love stops the empty, lonely feeling that brews inside of your heart as you get older. It makes the pain of this world bearable.  
If that was true, then where was the sweetness of love when Jin was around?  
Because all Jin ever saw was heartbreak. Anytime anyone he knew would get together with the person they loved, they would break up. This was the part of love that Jin was scared of: Heartbreak. He already had self-esteem issues and depression and adding on heart break would only make these two things in his life much worse. Jin never experienced love firsthand, but he always saw how much love could make a person go crazy and suffer. If love, Jin figured, made the hole in one’s heart go away, then it left a black hole when it went away.  
They say love comes at unexpected times in your life.  
That is exactly what happened on May 4, 2013 when Jin met Ken for the first time. They were roommates in college and Jin was in his first year. He was already nervous, but something told him that this new school year would be different than any other school years he had experienced so far. That day, it was blistering hot. The sweat and humidity stuck to Jin which made his clothes stick to him like a second skin. He felt absolutely disgusting and tired from lugging boxes all the way to the seventh floor to his dorm room. When Jin unloaded his last box and lugged it upstairs to his room, he hadn’t expected to see an angel. An angel who was named Ken with light brown hair, dark brown eyes Jin lost himself in, with only basketball shorts, black tennis shoes, and a white tank top that showed off his lean, muscular build. No, Jin had not expected this beautiful sight at all that day.  
Jin knew the minute he saw Ken, he was in love. The surge of energy he felt when Ken smiled, his nervousness heightened, palms sweaty, heart rate beating at a thousand miles a minute. Jin knew from that first moment that Ken was going to be his first love. He knew being around Ken was going to change him. Whether the change was good or bad, he didn’t know at the time and he didn’t care. All he knew was that Ken was his first love. This he was absolutely sure of.  
But what Jin didn’t know was the pain and suffering that came along when he discovered Ken was straight. Which meant Jin had zero chance of ever experiencing the sweet love he wanted to experience with his best friend. He had zero chance of ever being able to feel the hole in his heart be full and complete. Instead, he always felt his heart crack anytime Ken went out with a girl. He always felt like he was missing out on a side of Ken that he only showed to the women he loved. Of course, Jin was never bitter or upset that Ken loved women, because people love who they love. But this still never made the pain easier to deal with. Jin was in love with his best friend and although he vowed he would never let Ken find out about his feelings, Jin still hoped that maybe, by some miracle Ken would love him back. But of course, this was only wishful thinking.  
Now, years later, in Ken’s and Jin’s shared apartment, Jin and Ken were looking for potential friends they could call. They needed a third roommate if they wanted stay in the already nice apartment they had. It was expensive and they could move somewhere cheaper, but this place held many wonderful memories for the both of them already. They wanted to stay and they were willing to do anything to stay in the place that brought them both happiness.  
“Really?!” Ken smiled, “Alright! Thanks a lot.” Ken hung up the phone with a huge smile on his face.  
“Did you find someone?” Jin questioned.  
“Yes, I did!” Ken exclaimed excitedly.  
“Who?”  
“Well, remember my childhood friend?” Ken asked Jin as he turned towards him.  
“The same person you talk about all the time?” Jin teased.  
“Yah!” Ken yelled jokingly, “I DO NOT talk about him all the time!! Anyways, I talked to him and he said this place would be perfect for him. It’s close to his job and all the other places he normally goes to.”  
Jin knew all too well about Ken’s childhood friend. Throughout their years of friendship, Ken always went on and on about how great his childhood friend treated him, how he always treated people nicely, and how he always knew how to treat people with the utmost respect. If his friend was anything like Ken, Jin thought, then he knew he was bound to get along with him.  
“What was his name again?” Jin asked.  
“His name is Ravi.”  
They say that love comes in many forms and happens at unexpected times in life.  
Ken was Jin’s first love. But that’s the thing with first loves: they were only a person’s FIRST LOVE NOT THEIR LAST.  
“Ravi,” Jin repeated, “That’s a nice, sweet name.”


End file.
